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White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

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White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism Paperback – June 26, 2018

by Dr. Robin DiAngelo (Author), Michael Eric Dyson (Foreword)

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The New York Times best-selling book exploring the counterproductive reactions white people have when their assumptions about race are challenged, and how these reactions maintain racial inequality.

In this “vital, necessary, and beautiful book” (Michael Eric Dyson), antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo deftly illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility and “allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to ‘bad people’ (Claudia Rankine). Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent any meaningful cross-racial dialogue. In this in-depth exploration, DiAngelo examines how white fragility develops, how it protects racial inequality, and what we can do to engage more constructively.

Print length

192 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Beacon Press
Publication date

June 26, 2018
Dimensions

6 x 0.57 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

0807047414
ISBN-13

978-0807047415
Lexile measure

1140L
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When a racial group’s collective prejudice is backed by the power of legal authority and institutional control, it is transformed into racism, a far-reaching system that functions independently from the intentions or self-images of individual actors.
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People of color may also hold prejudices and discriminate against white people, but they lack the social and institutional power that transforms their prejudice and discrimination into racism; the impact of their prejudice on whites is temporary and contextual.
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When I say that only whites can be racist, I mean that in the United States, only whites have the collective social and institutional power and privilege over people of color. People of color do not have this power and privilege over white people.
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From the Publisher


	The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups	Nice Racism	White Fragility for Young Adults

Customer Reviews	13	690	14
Price	$17.52	$13.54	$11.29
Also by Robin DiAngelo	"A must-read for facilitators of white accountability groups!" -—Kathy Obear, EdD, president, Center for Transformation and Change	“Personal transformation is an act of anti-racism, and DiAngelo has just given progressive white America the field guide.” —Michael Eric Dyson, author of Long Time Coming	A reimagining of the best-selling book that gives young adults the tools to ask questions, engage in dialogue, challenge their ways of thinking, and take action to create a more racially just world

Editorial Reviews

Review

“The value in White Fragility lies in its methodical, irrefutable exposure of racism in thought and action, and its call for humility and vigilance.”
—The New Yorker

“[T]houghtful, instructive, and comprehensive . . . This slim book is impressive in its scope and complexity; DiAngelo provides a powerful lens for examining, and practical tools for grappling with, racism today.”
—Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

“White Fragility is a book everyone should be exposed to. With any luck, most who are will be inspired to search themselves and interrupt their contributions to racism.”
—Shelf Awareness, Starred Review

“A valuable guide . . . While especially helpful for those new to the critical analysis of whiteness, this work also offers a useful refresher to anyone committed to the ongoing process of self-assessment and anti-oppression work.”
—Library Journal

“A penetrating new book.”
—Pacific Standard

“A vital, necessary, and beautiful book, a bracing call to white folk everywhere to see their whiteness for what it is and to seize the opportunity to make things better now.”
—Michael Eric Dyson

“As a woman of color, I find hope in this book because of its potential to disrupt the patterns and relationships that have emerged out of long-standing colonial principles and beliefs. White Fragility is an essential tool toward authentic dialogue and action. May it be so!”
—Shakti Butler, president of World Trust and director of Mirrors of Privilege: Making Whiteness Visible

“A rare and incisive examination of the system of white body supremacy that binds us all as Americans. . . . With authenticity and clarity, she provides the antidote to white fragility and a road map for developing white racial stamina and humility. White Fragility loosens the bonds of white supremacy and binds us back together as human beings.”
—Resmaa Menakem, author of My Grandmother’s Hands and Rock the Boat

“As powerful forces of white racism again swell, DiAngelo invites white progressives to have a courageous conversation about their culture of complicity. . . . White Fragility provides important antiracist understanding and essential strategies for well-intentioned white people who truly endeavor to be a part of the solution.”
—Glenn E. Singleton, author of Courageous Conversations About Race

“Robin DiAngelo demonstrates an all-too-rare ability to enter the racial conversation with complexity, nuance, and deep respect. Her writing establishes her mastery in accessing the imaginal, metaphoric mind where the possibility for transformation resides. With an unwavering conviction that change is possible, her message is clear: the incentive for white engagement in racial justice work is ultimately self-liberation.”
—Leticia Nieto, coauthor of Beyond Inclusion, Beyond Empowerment

“White fragility is the secret ingredient that makes racial conversations so difficult and achieving racial equity even harder. But by exposing it and showing us all—including white folks—how it operates and how it hurts us, individually and collectively, Robin DiAngelo has performed an invaluable service. An indispensable volume for understanding one of the most important (and yet rarely appreciated) barriers to achieving racial justice.”
—Tim Wise, author of White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son

“Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility brings language to the emotional structures that make true discussions about racial attitudes difficult. With clarity and compassion, DiAngelo allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to ‘bad people.’ In doing so, she moves our national discussions forward with new ‘rules of engagement.’ This is a necessary book for all people invested in societal change through productive social and intimate relationships.”
—Claudia Rankine

“White Fragility is a must-read for all educators because racism and racial disparities in access and opportunity continue to be an urgent issue in our schools. As educators, we need to summon up the courage and together act deliberately and honestly to develop the skills we need to engage in conversations about bias, race, and racism—especially our own.”
—Val Brown, professional development facilitator and founder of #ClearTheAir

About the Author

Robin DiAngelo is an academic, lecturer, and author and has been a consultant and trainer on issues of racial and social justice for more than twenty years. She formerly served as a tenured professor of multicultural education at Westfield State University.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

White Fragility
Reading Guide
Written byÖzlem Sensoy and Robin DiAngelo

Before You Begin: Suggestions for Discussion
This reading guide is intended to support formal and informal group discussions of White Fragility. We offer the following pedagogical tips as you organize your discussion.

On size:
Small group discussions work best when the size of the group is large enough to advance discussion but not so large that any member of the group can avoid sharing or, conversely, wants to share, but cannot find airtime to do so. For this reason, it is recommended that groups target a size of five to seven members. If you are part of a larger study group, just organize yourselves into smaller sub groups of approximately five people.

On composition:
There can be strategic advantages to organizing yourself into what are sometimes called affinity groups, wherein people with a shared identity (such as cis-men, or Asian women, or Indigenous people) work through issues particular to them, in a closed group. If your group is diverse, discuss how you want to organize yourselves (in a mixed group or an affinity group for all or part of various chapter discussions).

On monitoring the group:
If you are self-monitoring your group, discuss how you will assign a facilitator for each session. This can be a rotating responsibility if you plan to meet over multiple sessions. The task of the facilitator will include keeping the discussion on topic, ensuring shared airtime, and note-taking (if part of a formal discussion group), as well as ensuring that the group’s time is monitored.

On facilitating:
Tips for facilitators of white discussion groups
Based on the following patterns, it is highly recommended that a facilitator or team of facilitators be assigned when primarily white groups discuss racism. Facilitators should think of themselves as guides rather than as teachers. This means the overall task of the facilitator is to keep the group focused and on track, with equitable sharing of the airtime. This will be easier to do if at the start of the discussion you tell the group that this is your task. You could even name the patterns ahead of time and ask group members to watch out for these themselves.

Common Patterns
1. Distancing: Identifiable via expressions including “People should just ____,” “Society is _____,” “How do I tell my coworker _____,” “What about all the people who aren’t here today who should be _____,” “The executive team at my workplace _____,” and “My family member _____”
Response techniques:“Can you speak to how you see this in your own behaviors/thoughts/beliefs in life/work?” “What part do you see yourself playing?” “What might you do…?” “How is the most effective way for someone to talk with you about your racism?”

2. Checking out: Identifiable via behaviors including texting, working on laptop, engaging in side conversations.
Response techniques:At the start, ask participants to put phones/laptops away. Explain that effective discussion on racism often causes disequilibrium for those of us who are white and that technology functions as a way to check out. Further, when people of color are present, the distraction of technology sends a problematic message. Someone who has an emergency or is expecting a text or call should leave the room at that time. Regarding side conversations, the facilitator might say, “I am having trouble hearing. Please give your attention to the speaker.”

3. Dominating the discussion:The same person or people speaking first, at length, immediately, and/or several times while others sit back in silence.
Response techniques: “Who haven’t we heard from?” “Let’s wait a little longer to make space for people who need more time.” “I’m going to ask that if we have spoken twice already, we wait until everyone else has had a chance before we speak again.” “Let’s go around the table and check in.” “Does anyone else want to share their perspective?” “We all have a responsibility to share our thoughts so others in the group know where we’re coming from or what we’re struggling with.”

4. Positioning themselves as already getting this/Giving evidence for why this discussion doesn’t apply to them:“I already know all this.” “I come from ___ and I can’t believe how white it is here.” “I realized many years ago that___.” “I am married to/have children who are ___,” followed by distancing (rather than insight and recognition that this doesn’t exempt them and their learning is not finished).
Response techniques: “The book poses an important question, ‘How do we know how well we are doing?’“Where do you see your current learning edge?” “DiAngelo states that nothing exempts us from the forces of racism. How are situations that are unique to us still informed by racism?” “How does being white shape one’s sense that they are ‘beyond’ this discussion?” “Can you name three actions in the last month that demonstrate your awareness in practice?”

5. Hopelessness:“Racism is never going to end.” “I can’t do anything.” “What are we supposed to do?” “This is just about making us feel guilty.”“We have been doing this for years now and nothing changes.” “The administration are the ones that need this and they just don’t care.”
Response techniques:“The author speaks to the question of guilt. What points does she make?”“If we apply the question the author asks, How does our discouragement function? how would we answer?” “What concrete actions have you attempted thus far? What books have you read? What antiracism networks have you joined? The perception that nothing can be done often keeps the existing system in place.”

6. Expecting people of color to teach us (white people) about race: Turning to people of color for answers or to go first: “I grew up in a sheltered environment, so I don’t know anything about race.” “Sharon, tell me about the racism you have experienced.” “Sharon, you go first.”
Response techniques: If you are in a multiracial reading group, don’t assume that the people of color will speak first. If uncertain, ask them what they prefer. “While those of us who are white need to listen to people of color, in this context let’s take some risks and go first.” “People of color and Indigenous people have spent a lot of time thinking and speaking out about white supremacy and against racism. This is the time for white people to step up to the conversation.” “Mainstream society often has us focus on the targets of oppression rather than the agents. In this setting, focusing on people of color can let white people off the hook for naming their participation in racist systems.” “How have you managed thus far not to know the answers to your questions on racism?”

7. Claiming this discussion doesn’t apply to them because they are not from the US: “I’m from Germany and we don’t have these issues there.” “Canada is a multicultural society.” “It’s completely different where I am from because everyone is the same.”
Response techniques: “At what age were you aware that black people existed? Where did they live? If in Africa, what were your impressions of Africa? Where did you get your information about Africa?” “Did you watch Hollywood movies? If so, what impressions did you get about African Americans from US movies? What about Disney movies and cartoons?” “What was your relationship to Asian heritage people? What were Asian people like, in your mind?” and so on.

Countering Common Patterns via Silence Breakers
These sentence starters, termed “silence breakers,”[1] are suggested openings intended to address two common challenges for white people in cross-racial discussions: First, the fear of losing face, making a mistake, or not being able to manage impressions that often prevent white people from authentic engagement. Second, the lack of humility we often have when discussing racism. The silence breakers can help engender a stance of curiosity and humility that counters the certitude many white people have regarding our racial perspectives. In doing so, they tend to open, rather than close, discussion and connection.

Silence Breakers
1.I’m really nervous/scared/uncomfortable saying this and/but …
2. From my experience/perspective as [identity] …
3. I’m afraid I may offend someone, and please let know if I do, but …
4. I’m not sure if this will make any sense, and/but …
5. I just felt something shift in the room. I’m wondering if anyone else did.
6. It seems as though some people may have had a reaction to that. Can you help me understand why?
7. Can you help me understand whether what I’m thinking right now might be problematic?
8. This is what I understand you to be saying: ____ Is that accurate?
9. I’m having a “yeah but.” Can you help me work through it?
10. I’m engaged but just needing time to process this. What I am working on processing is _____.[2]

Additional Tips for a Productive Discussion
As DiAngelo notes, white people addressing white fragility surfaces several dilemmas. First, it requires that white people be centered in the conversation about racism. This can be problematic because it reinforces the white centering that is taken for granted in society at large (it is the author’s hope, however, that it is a centering that exposes, rather than protects, the workings of white supremacy). Second, it positions white people—yet again—as the experts. Based on these dilemmas, the following points are important to keep in mind:

   1. This book and its arguments build on antiracism scholarship and activism that people of color have written for generations. That scholarship has been fundamental to the ability of the author to explicate white fragility. Use this text as the starting point—rather than the ending point—to educate yourself on racism. There are many suggestions for engaging with the work of people of color in the Resources for Continuing Education section of this book.

   2. The primary goal for white people working to understand racism is not to learn how racism impacts people of color. The primary goal is to recognize how the system of racism shapes our lives, how we uphold that system, and how we might interrupt it.

   3. For people of color, multiracial, and Indigenous peoples who are part of an informal or formal discussion group, the book and this guide will hopefully validate your lived experiences and offer some helpful insight into the challenges of trying to talk to white people about racism. Like the book, this guide is primarily focused on raising the consciousness and increasing the cross-racial skills of white people. In so doing, many of the questions will be specific to them. Yet while the work of this text is primarily focused on the role that white people play within the system of racism, people of color are exposed to the same messages and must also consider how those messages have impacted them and the resultant role they may play. This dynamic is colloquially described as “assimilation” (or “acting white”) and is described in scholarship as “collusion.” These terms refer to people of color upholding values and behaviors that negatively impact their own and other groups of color and ultimately support white supremacy. There are many pressures to collude, the foremost of which is that there are rewards for conformity with the system. If we behave in ways that the dominant group finds favorable, we will likely receive benefits (or at least minimize penalties) in our daily interactions with them. As you study the dynamic of white fragility, consider your role and responsibilities in relation to collusion and adapt questions accordingly and as needed.

Note for those using this guide outside of the US context
The dynamics of white fragility are familiar in all societies in which white people hold institutional power and/or have a white settler colonial history, including Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, and South Africa. While the book focuses on the specific sociopolitical context of the US, it is for you to reflect on how these dynamics manifest in your specific sociopolitical context. For white people who did not grow up in the US but live in the US now, consider how US-based racial dynamics (and globally circulating US cultural stories and images) shape your current ideas about race, your life, and cross-racial relationships.

For all readers
The chapter questions are intended to deepen your reflection and understanding of the chapters and constructively inform your response to white fragility.

Keep the following principles in mind. You may need to return to them on occasion, so consider posting them in the room or having them available on cards:


1.      A strong opinion is not the same as informed knowledge.

2.      There is a difference between agreement and understanding. When discussing complex social and institutional dynamics such as racism, consider whether “I don’t agree” may actually mean “I don’t understand.”

3.      We have a deep interest in denying the forms of oppression that benefit us. We may also have an interest in denying forms of oppression that harm us. For example, people of color can deny the existence of racism and even support its structures. This denial may keep them from feeling overwhelmed by the daily slights or protect them from the penalties of confronting white people on racism. However, regardless of the reason, this denial still benefits whites at the group level, not people of color.

4.      Racism goes beyond individual intentions to collective group patterns.

5.      We don’t have to be aware of racism in order for it to exist.

6.      Our racial position (whether we identify as white, a person of color, or multiracial) will greatly affect our ability to see racism. For example, if we swim against the “current” of racial privilege, it’s often easier to recognize, while it’s harder to recognize if we swim with the current.

7.      Putting our effort into protecting rather than expanding our current worldview prevents our intellectual and emotional growth.

Before you begin discussing chapter by chapter, spend some time reviewing the guidelines above.

[1] Adapted from Anika Nailah and Robin DiAngelo
[2] Excerpted from Robin DiAngelo and Ozlem Sensoy, “Calling In: Strategies for Cultivating Humility and Critical Thinking in Antiracism Education,” Understanding & Dismantling Privilege 4, no. 2, (2014),http://www.wpcjournal.com/article/view/12101

About the Guide Authors

Robin DiAngelo is an academic, lecturer, and author of White Fragility. She has been a consultant and trainer on issues of racial and social justice for more than twenty years. She formerly served as a tenured professor of multicultural education at Westfield State University.

Özlem Sensoy is an associate professor in the Faculty of Education at Simon Fraser University in Canada. She is the co-author (with Robin DiAngelo) of the award–winning book, Is Everyone Really Equal?: An Introduction to Key Concepts in Social Justice Education (Teachers College Press).

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Beacon Press; Reprint edition (June 26, 2018)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 192 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0807047414
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0807047415
Lexile measure ‏ : ‎ 1140L
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.57 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #5,599 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #18 in Cultural Anthropology (Books)
- #23 in Discrimination & Racism
- #222 in Personal Transformation Self-Help

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Joe Pote

A Helpful Book for White Americans Seeking a Better Understanding of Our Roles in Systemic Racism

Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2021

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I had heard quite a bit about this book, both positive and negative. I decided I needed to read it for myself, both to educate myself on the topic of systemic racism and to form my own opinion of the book.
I found the book to be both challenging and enlightening. The author definitely challenges white readers to change our perspective on systemic racism in America and the role we play in that system.
In reading the first half of the book, I was troubled a bit by DiAngelo's terminology and word usage. She uses terms such as "racism" and "white supremacy" differently from their more common usages. She is careful to explain her usage and definitions. However, it still took a bit of getting used to.

I was also a bit troubled that her terminology seems intended to make her primary intended audience, white Americans, uncomfortable. However, by the time I finished the book I realized DiAngelo does this on purpose because she sees discomfort as an essential step for most white Americans to begin changing our racial paradigm and begin developing stamina for discussing racial topics without reverting to familiar defensive tactics.

Reading this book also helped me better understand some past conversations I found confusing. It is always easier to communicate when all participants understand the terminology being used.
I feel I also have a better understanding of some of the harsh critiques of this book. Not only is the book intentionally uncomfortable for most white Americans to read, but it also uses terminology differently from common usages. The result is it would be really easy for a reader to take offense... and equally easy to grab a quote out of context that comes across as having a completely different meaning from the author's intent.

Now for some discussion of what the book does not do:

1. It does not promote a socialist agenda.
2. It does not advocate for financial reparations.
3. It does not mention the phrase "Critical Race Theory."
4. It makes no mention whatsoever of capitalism.
5. It is neither un-American nor anti-American.
6. It is not opposed to sound Christian doctrine, nor to the Gospel, nor to the Bible.
7. It is not divisive.
8. It does not seek to make white Americans feel guilty for things done by our ancestors.

On the contrary, the whole point of the book is to help white Americans better understand systemic racism and our role in that system, so we can begin to learn to do better at a personal level. I found the message of this book quite compatible with the commandment of Jesus Christ to love others as He has loved us.

DiAngelo displays both humility and hope in how she shares personal stories of her own experiences and struggles.

DiAngelo is an educator by profession. Her book is very educational. And her vision for reducing inequities of systemic racism is through education.

I highly recommend this book to anyone (especially white Americans) who would like to learn more about systemic racism and our roles in those systems, as well as how we can begin to do better.

I would caution any white reader to read this book with a teachable attitude, prepared to learn. If approached from a position of arrogance, you will likely just come away frustrated and angry.

44 people found this helpful

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Ernest B

A critically important read for the present

Reviewed in the United States on February 16, 2024

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Robin DiAngelo does a masterful job of taking head on a critical topic. Contrary to what the majority believes this topic is on time, relevant, and needed. The key to the book is the language she gives to allow all of us especially the Black and so-called White community to sit down and have a candid discussion towards resolving the issue of white supremacy in America first, then to throughout all the world. I have been recommending this to everyone asking for a good book recommendation and would recommend this for churches, schools, and boys and girls clubs.

2 people found this helpful

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Rachel

Excellent!!!!!!

Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2024

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Wow! As a black woman, I felt compelled to read this book out of curiosity. It was absolutely astounding. The author fearlessly addressed white privilege and called it out for what it truly is. Thank you for writing such an impactful book! The entire world could benefit from it immensely!

4 people found this helpful

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Patrick F

I am walking the bumpy road toward justice and equality. This book, though not perfect, has helped.

Reviewed in the United States on June 28, 2020

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I, like many in these turbulent times, am learning a lot about racism. I still feel like I don’t have the right language (or good sense) to navigate the pitfalls of expressing myself clearly and without bias or unintended racism. I have come to the point--this book has certainly helped me along--of realizing that, despite my erstwhile claims of being “not racist,” I have perpetuated racist ideas unintentionally and ignorantly and have unwittingly supported systems of power and racist policies to the detriment of people of color. I feel a certain duty to confess. I feel the tightness in my chest and my clammy palms as my baked-in white fragility bristles at the idea of admitting to my privilege and failures to be “not racist.” These, I hope, can be feelings of change building in my chest and the motivation toward sustained action for equality preparing my hands to do the work. My fingers fumble along the keys trying to peck out a reasonable analysis of this book, but ultimately I know I am really just writing about my own response to the presented ideas. I've scanned a few other reviews railing against the authors myopia, but I am instead focusing on what the book has contributed to my personal journey toward anti-racism.

The author starts this book by uncovering a key component of white privilege and therefore fragility: the rarity of needing to view ourselves racially. I am not an impartial, unbiased observer of racial tensions. I am a white person in the midst of a racist society whose structures of power are oriented toward providing advantages to people like myself to the detriment of others. These can be hard pills to swallow as is clear by the vast swaths of humanity who regurgitate them along with their reflexive claims of having black friends or being a good person who doesn’t see race. I’m starting to feel the lumps in my throat from all the hard pills I’ve been swallowing recently, but it feels like my responsibility to at least try to digest these ideas. As she concludes her first chapter, Diangelo writes, “The racial status quo is comfortable for white people, and we will not move forward in race relations if we remain comfortable.”

As the book continues, the author clarifies important definitions for terms like discrimination, prejudice, and racism. A crucial aspect of her definition of racism is the idea of power. Racism isn’t just a pre-judgmental stereotype or negative action along racial lines, but collective prejudice “backed by the power of legal authority and institutional control.” An unbalanced societal power dynamic is required to fuel this systemic racism and it is therefore linked to white supremacy in America. Diangelo supports the somewhat controversial claim, “People of color may also hold prejudices and discriminate against white people, but they lack the social and institutional power that transforms their prejudice and discrimination into racism.” She then continues to build on ideas from the first chapter as she reiterates that whiteness needs to be acknowledged not as a neutral or normal racial state, but a racial identity on equal ground with all others. One’s whiteness, additionally, automatically associates one with the locus of institutional power and structural advantage. Advantages unavailable to people of color in America.

Diangelo then takes some time to trace the ever-mutating history of racism in America, focusing primarily on the evolution and institutional insidiousness of racism post-1960’s. Here she focuses on notions such as color blindness and unconscious perpetuation of racist ideas and structures. Moving on, Diangelo talks of the racial experience of white people who “don’t carry the psychic weight of race.” White people enjoy freedom of access and movement, a collective cultural agreement to eschew racial discomfort, an idealized nostalgia for the good ol’ days, and the ability to view racism as something that happens to people of color rather than something for which white people are responsible.

The book then explores the dangers of viewing racism as a binary disposition. This seems a bit redundant, but the author takes time to address popular apologetics such as “I was raised to see everyone as equal,” or, “focusing on race is what divides us.” In another somewhat repetitive chapter, Diangelo then explores “anti-blackness.” She seems to focus on overt examples of white self-elevation and oppression of black people where her argument may have been advanced further by examining the institualization of anti-black policies in our society.

The next two chapters explore triggers of white fragility and are summarized well in a concluding paragraph: “White equilibrium is a cocoon of racial comfort, centrality, superiority, entitlement, racial apathy, and obliviousness, all rooted in an identity of being good people free of racism. Challenging this cocoon throws off our racial balance. Because being racially off balance is so rare, we have not had to build the capacity to sustain the discomfort. Thus, whites find these challenges unbearable and want them to stop.”

Diangelo goes on to give examples of white fragility in her experience leading diversity training groups. A particularly helpful insight was the trend of white people to make conversations on racial discomfort about their own hurt, suffering, or feelings of being misunderstood. This, she argues, is just another example of white fragility and white privilege. Additionally, white fragility requires that race be addressed in ways that are palatable to white sensibilities. In contrast, the author offers this alternative: “How, where, and when you give me feedback is irrelevant--it is the feedback I want and need.” I particularly appreciated this practical point of racial engagement. I need to listen to and believe people of color’s experience of racism at this time of social crisis (and, of course, on an ongoing basis). “The method of delivery cannot be used to delegitimize what is being illuminated or as an excuse for disengagement.”

In concluding, the author offers some practical pointers for how people can responsibly engage in conversations of race. She notes that, when asked about what white people can do, she challenges them to examine how they have come this far without knowing how to address racism. Maybe it’s a lack of education or exposure or isolation from diversity. She urges that white people take the initiative to examine their privilege and fragility and treat addressing racism as we would a terminal diagnosis of a little-known disease. Research, read, seek out others with experience, do your homework. While her advice and strategies are helpful, I think Diangelo misses a key component which, to be fair, may simply lie outside the scope of her work. Namely, if racism is a systemic issue with white people as the primary benefactors, shouldn’t there be a weight of responsibility for anti-racist white people to actively pursue shifting the power dynamics within these systems? Shouldn’t we move beyond examining assumptions and learning to communicate by taking action for social reform? It seems if one follows her argument to its conclusion, the political ramifications of racism cannot be ignored and white political inaction is tantamount to actively sustaining our unbalanced societal structures. So, I walk away from this book more open to introspection, more careful in examining my positions of privilege due to my racial identity, more eager to accept feedback, and more motivated to be an ally who is active in my pursuit of change for the sake of justice rather than settling back into my comfortable white cocoon of the status quo.

I found this book to be a helpful nudge for white people like myself to engage in racial conversations. It does seem to pull some punches and is repetitive at times, but it nonetheless advocates for movement toward justice and equality and is therefore a worthwhile read.

B+

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Tudor-Paul Birlea

Read it !!

Reviewed in Germany on August 29, 2023

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Was recommend to me by one of my friends and it was a great read. really puts in perspective how society works and it made me notice the mistakes I make and ow to deal with them. A lot of folks might take some offense with it, but that says it all if you do! Read it, take a step back and check in with yourself

2 people found this helpful

agostino corfini

Somos todos racistas

Reviewed in Spain on June 24, 2023

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La lectura de este libro - muy profundo - me ha tocado la fibra en muchas cosas. Me ha hecho reflexionar y entender muchos aspectos de mi cultura que no había notado pero que indudablemente tienen sesgos racistas. Una vez leído el libro entenderás el título de mi reseña y no te ofenderá dicha afirmación tan tajante.

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Amazon Customer

Recomendo!

Reviewed in Brazil on November 28, 2020

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Para quem quer entender mais sobre racismo... um livro necessário!

One person found this helpful

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Rina

Interesting book !

Reviewed in France on February 16, 2022

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I liked how she introduced her concept. Well articulated and insightful writing. That's what I call food for thoughts, especially from where I stand. Living in France, I can testify: this kind of books are not popular here, nor even published which is a pity. We need to confront different opinions and thesis on this particular topic.

One person found this helpful

taz

A Book Every White Person Should Read

Reviewed in Canada on June 4, 2020

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I'm disabled and need to self isolate because I'm high risk if I get Covid 19. No protests for me!

I was thinking "What can I do to honor George Floyd, his family and black people in general that I can do from home.

I decided that the very least I could do was buy this book and read it.

To be honest the title triggered feelings of defensiveness and eye rolling. Deep inside of me was a part of me that did NOT want to read this book. I decided that this reaction signalled that I needed to read it. "If people can be out marching and putting their bodies in danger to protest police violence against black people...the very least I can do is read this book with the title that triggers so much anxious avoidance in me."

So I did! And I'm so glad I did. The book discusses the feelings of fear, defensiveness, shame, guilt and anger that white people experience when discussion of racism comes up. It explains where these feelings come from and labels them as being a kind of psychological "syndrome," known as "White Fragility."

It also explains Racism/White Supremacism as a culture we have all grown up within and how our emotional reactions help strengthen that culture vs challenging it and creating something new.

I saw much of myself in the examples given but also, for the 1st time a way of responding to and taking responsibility for these emotional reactions instead of demanding black people stop everything to take care of my feelings.

It gave me words to use, questions to ask myself, ways to understand how my behavior is being perceived and recieved by black people. It gave me examples of ways to own my own racist thoughts or behaviour and ask for forgiveness, attempt to make amends even if the person chooses (as is their right) not to forgive my Racism.

For the 1st time in my life, I feel like I have a bit of a framework and basic etiquette to use to navigate my racist reactions in a way that both empowers me to feel more confident in my diversity skills while also attempting to create more honest and intimate relations with black people.

I can see this book being used in Anti-Racism workshops with white people. Reading a chapter, journalling about our reactions and finding ways to become less "fragile," and more capable of listening to and engaging in respectful discussions of race.

I really mean it. Every single white person should read this book. You wont regret it!

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